I edited in a title.

Reading my last blog post, from who knows how long ago, I got a little sad. Still sad over the loss of one I have admired for a long time.

Tonight is a night of celebration. I have nothing interesting to say. I have no aspirations to be anything but myself, even if just for five minutes. It's nice to say what you mean. and of course, mean what you say. Fire off cliche #1.

I love so many people, it's hard to pin down just what kind of love each person gets. Some people get my deeply irrational love. "You don't deserve it, but I love you like no other." Other people get the, "oh, I HAVE to love you, so I might as well try to enjoy it while I'm at it anyway." Then there is the degenerate bunch who I crave being around. "I can't stand you, but I am intrigued by your company in limited short pulse bursts, so please stick around until I get sick of you, or blow up into an origami balloon of hate to make you run off for weeks, or simply become complacent about how we feel about each other until you do the same."  - it's like that. Like it or lump it. It's who I is.

I have to divide a lot of time among the people I love. Some come in waves, ebbing and flowing as naturally as a tidal stream. Some come full blitz, WHAM! POW! "You are in the throes of my absolute obsession to tell you every single thing about my life, even if you've heard it before... even if you come out and say, 'I've heard this before,' I will bless your ears with it once again, because my recollection of events is more important to me than your collection of events going on now." - I have trouble with these friends. How do you say STFU without sounding like a dick? You can't.

Then I have my "friend" friends. The ones who don't expect anything of me. The ones we can just be quiet around. Friends who will watch a movie with you and not talk through the best part - or if they do talk through it, they'll understand when you say, "ok I gotta re-wind, I was really into this..." - and then they be quiet for a while longer and watch with you, cause they figure if I am into it, they should be too. I see those guys every day. They are cherished and know who they are... and those who read this that know who they aren't, could take a few cues.

Don't walk up behind me and start talking when I am apparently engrossed in something else. Don't intrusively dominate the speaking area when trying to have stimulating conversation with ALL of my friends. Don't be a bore. Don't say "No" as the first word when having a healthy debate. Don't bring every story anyone else has back to your "somehow related but better (and probably longer)" story about yourself. Don't be a dick. There are other people with just as valid and probably more interesting views than your own, because they aren't yours. Open your mind to the presence of other people and empathize. Without empathy, there is no you. You is not just how you are perceived by your self, but by others...

I enjoy writing in this blog. I will do more soon. It feels like careful close examination under a hand mirror with that curvy side that makes you look funny.

kloveyabye :)

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